My Heart Is Broken, Again

It’s shattered into a million pieces, again. My second Golden Girl, my sweet Shadow, joined her sister and best friend, Callie, in Heaven a week ago. It’s been hard, so very hard to write this post. I’ve been going through life in a fog this past week. So many parallels between Callie and Shadow and their end-of-life stories. Those parallels keep creeping into my thoughts and make me realize how spiritually connected they’ve been from the beginning.

Spiritual connectivity aside, Shadow’s final three and a half weeks on Earth were hard on her – physically and emotionally – the pulled groin muscle in her right rear leg hurt. It hurt a lot. She didn’t want to get up off her dog bed. But once she was standing and walking, she seemed happy to be at least somewhat active.

Her favorite times were always those spent in the backyard with all of us. As the days passed, she stopped eating and then drinking. Her kidney levels were a little elevated when we did her senior blood profile; but the vet wasn’t all that concerned because of the meds she was taking for the pulled muscle.

What concerned us was her not eating. We tried an appetite stimulant, without success. Our only option was to put Shadow on fluids overnight to jumpstart her appetite and kidney function. The next afternoon she seemed to feel better but was still not interested in food. So we opted for another 48 hours of fluids and meds.

The follow-up bloodwork showed very little improvement in some values and none in others. Our poor, sweet girl was in renal failure and too tired to fight any more. And Callie – bless her – kept her sister going until we could return to be with her in her final moments.

As we did 3-1/2 years ago with Callie, we did all we could to help Shadow fight for her life. We have no regrets about her treatments. We only wish the outcome had been different.

Our sweet girl is reunited with her ever-devoted and loving sister and best friend. My mental images of their reunion give me great comfort and allow me to smile through my tears.

A Request for a Friend

You, my pet blogging buddies and other friends and family, know I don’t normally publish two posts on the same day. But today is different. Not just because it’s Valentine’s Day. But also because it’s not a good day for one of my childhood friends.

A year ago today, my friend Bev had to say goodbye to one of her kitties, Miss Chloe. Today, one of her other senior kitties, Raffy, was diagnosed with lung cancer and anemia. The vet offered the euthanasia option, which Bev declined for now. Instead, she will do all she can to keep Raffy comfortable — and give her all the love she can — and allow her sweet kitty to tell her when the time has come to say goodbye.

So, I ask you all to keep Bev and Raffy in your thoughts and prayers/meditations and let them feel the love they need especially now.

Thank you, everyone.

Puppy Love

Ducky loves big sister Callie so much that she let her rest her head near her own.

Such scenes between my pups make me smile.

What’s NOT To Love?!

Oz the Terrier and his Mom came up with a great topic for our third WOOF Support Blog Hop! “What do you love about your reactive dog?” It’s a great way to concentrate on the positives of having/handling a reactive dog. It can be all too easy at times to get caught up in the negative side of life. So, with that said, I will move on to what I love about my reactive dog, Ducky.

As my title says, “what’s NOT to love?!”
At home, especially, Ducky is one of the sweetest, most affectionate dogs I’ve ever lived with. She will jump up in our laps and smother us with slobbery kisses. Or, she’ll be chewing on a Nylabone barbell toy and suddenly flop over on her side and go to sleep. It’s so cute that you can’t help but feel your heart expand.

She will be curled up in the corner of the couch nearest to my recliner and suddenly rest her head on the couch’s arm rest and look at me with so much love in her eyes.

After getting into a growling, snarling match with her sister, Shadow, she will go to Shadow and submissively lick her lips or her face. It’s as if she’s saying “I’m sorry, Shadow. I ruv you.” And all is right in their lives again.

Ducky’s personality is all Corgi. She’s a talker, a grumbler, a bossy little stinker. She grumbles up a storm when hubby or I disturb her naps. Oh. My. Dog! You would think we were burglars in the house! It’s funny now that we’re used to it, but there was a time when it provoked an impatient tirade from hubby. He still gets annoyed at times if she gets too loud, but for the most part I can’t help but smile or even laugh.

Ducky cracks us up when she scratches her back on the carpet! She wiggles and wriggles and growls and grumbles. And she loves when I put my hand on her belly or use my hand to gently turn her head from side to side. She loves to nip at our toes and hands in play. Sometimes she nips a bit too hard and it hurts. But when we cry “ouch!” she stops and looks at us before going back to the game. And the funniest thing is that whenever Callie and Shadow scratch their backs on the carpet, Ducky grumbles at them for disturbing her.  (Sorry, there’s some background noise from the TV on the video clip; and I’m not sure of how to get rid of it.)

 

What’s not to love about my little demon dog? She loves us. She loves her big sisters. She loves life. She makes us laugh every day. She rescued us from a ho-hum, sedentary life when we rescued her from the shelter. She makes Callie and Shadow get up and play with her, gets them to chase her around the yard or help her chase the neighbors’ cat out of our yard or a squirrel up a tree. She goes up to them both and licks their face. And she lets Callie clean her face occasionally.

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Nine Months of Ducky

Ducky has been part of our family for a little over nine months now. And in those nine months I have often felt like I was stuck on an endless roller-coaster ride. Looking back, I wouldn’t trade any of it.

Cesar Millan — who, by the way, was my original inspiration for enrolling at the Animal Behavior College — always says “you might not get the dog you want, but you will get the dog you need.” It took a while for me to fully understand why I needed this little “Demon Dog”. It’s clear to me now: this little one has taught and continues to teach me patience, compassion, acceptance, and other virtues I’ve been struggling with these last several years.

A childhood friend recently sent me an email about an experience she had a few days earlier. She had been at one of her jobs and tried to avoid interaction with a disabled customer (because of her “aversion of the sick and infirm”). But God had other plans for her. She ended up assisting said customer and found herself enriched by the experience. “It also taught me that sometimes when you *think* you’d fooled God’s plans, you really haven’t.”
And it got me thinking. Whether you believe in God or not, there is a “force” out there in the universe stronger than any of us making things happen in our lives. I responded to my friend…

“All those months (years, actually) Sam and I spent swearing that 2 dogs were not only enough but also actually more than enough. God had other plans — He wanted Ducky to have a good home with a family that would love her just for being herself. And for whatever reason He chose us to be that family. Yeah, we have to make some sacrifices now that we didn’t before; but our little Ducky is a constant source of joy and laughter — and she has put a little extra *zing* in Callie’s and Shadow’s lives as well.”

“All things happen for a reason, whether we understand/know the reason or not” is one of those snippets of wisdom my Mom imparted to my brother and me when we were growing up. I am constantly being reminded of Mom’s wisdom; and grateful for every lesson!

Ducky is growing up … she’s an “adolescent” now … and her confidence is expanding. Each time she remains calm in my arms near a stranger, my heart “swells” with pride. And when she doesn’t bark at her own reflection out of uncertainty, but just tilts her head and then looks away. Or when she sees a toy near Shadow without starting a growlfest. She still has her “moments” of demonic behavior; but we’ve come to accept them as part of her puppy-ness. And, when those moments aren’t anxious ones but just playfulness, we enjoy them and treasure them. She won’t be a puppy forever so we want to enjoy as much of her puppyhood as we can now. And help her to outgrow the anxieties.

I guess I’ve gone way over the allotted word count; but these thoughts have been on my mind the past few days and I wanted to get them into written form before they escaped the sometimes-empty space between my ears.

I hope you all have a tail-wagging day!! Live in the now and enjoy every moment!!

People and Their Dogs

I found this on Facebook the other day, shared it, and saw that one of my friends “liked” it on my post.  It’s so true, at least for me.  Of course, some dogs — like Ducky — are a little young/immature yet to be sleeping on their humans’ bed, but eventually maybe.  Ducky spent most of her days at the shelter in a kennel, by herself, so you’d think she would hate it.  But she feels safe in her crate.  When she gets anxious, she chews on her bed or one of her toys, but she doesn’t wake us unless she has to go out.  Anyway, I just thought I’d share it with my pet blogger friends too…..

Hope you enjoyed it too…

Just a Little of Everything Golden (and Black)

Today we join our friends at the 2 Brown Dawgs blog and Heart Like A Dog blog for This ‘N That Thursday.

“This ‘N That Thursday is for those times when you want to post about unrelated topics or each topic isn’t quite long enough to make up a whole post.  It can be anything you want, so feel free to grab the button and join us!”

Many thanks to 2 Brown Dawgs & Heart Like A Dog for This ‘N That Thursday.

Ducky in the Dog House at Daycare Yesterday…

Each afternoon when I pick Ducky up at the daycare facility, I ask the staff if she was a good girl.  Yesterday Julie told me to check their Facebook page for a picture of Ducky and this is what I found…

“Ducky’s in the dog house! Hehe!“

Sisterly Love….

Then, while hubby and I were watching a Spring Training game between our Atlanta Braves and the Pittsburgh Pirates, I looked over at my two Golden Girls.  Nature may not have made them actual sisters, but mutual love and adoration has certainly made them siblings as well as friends….

Is that not sweet?!  That’s Shadow with her head against the dog bed.  Just moments before I could get the iPod camera, Callie was cleaning Shadow’s face.  After I took the pictures, Shadow got up and walked over to me for some loving and her whole face was wet!  And they’ve been like this since Shadow first came to live with us at the tender young age of 7 weeks.  Callie does try to clean Ducky’s face, too, but sometimes Ducky doesn’t want to have anything to do with it and just walks away.  Lately, though, she’s been “tolerating” Callie’s motherly attention more often.  Maybe she’ll actually grow to like it?

Quiet Moments….

I would be remiss as a “pet parent” if I didn’t say that Ducky’s quiet moments are not as rare as they were six short months ago.  (As of last Sunday, Ducky has been part of our family for six months.)  So here’s proof that she does actually rest peacefully once in a while.  The proof is more for my own benefit, to remind me that she truly is settling down somewhat.  He-he.

Picture’s a little fuzzy, but that’s my baby…

Author’s Note:  To the co-hosts of “This ‘N That Thursday”, I unlinked 2 Brown Dawgs because I couldn’t figure out how to link Heart Like A Dog and didn’t want to be unfair to either of you.  Hope you’ll forgive me, 2 Brown Dawgs!!  Happy Thursday!!

Follow Up Friday

I can’t believe it’s Friday again already!  Don’t get me wrong – I’m glad it is, because that means Callie’s surgery is over with and now she can start to heal and rebuild her stamina, strength, and leg bones, muscles, and tissue.  Poor girl is still a bit tired from the stress of the surgery but she’s starting to “come around” to her normal, happy, extroverted self. 

 

So, although I’m not “co-hosting” with Jodi/HeartLikeADog this week, I am posting a follow up and it is Friday.  Come along and join us for “Follow Up Friday”….

 

 

CALLIE, POST SURGERY DAYS 1 and 2

 

Here are some photos of the way Callie looks now.  I took the pix yesterday after I got her home, in the house, and settled in the living room….

 

All that beautiful, golden hair missing from her leg and hip – it breaks my heart!  And as cold as it’s been in the morning the poor girl shivers when I take her out for potty breaks.   Thank goodness she’s only supposed to be outside for five minutes at a time, at least for these first two weeks!  We’ll see what the surgeon says when  he takes the sutures out.  Meanwhile, Shadow’s being a BIG help to me with Callie!  She goes out in the back yard with us, and instead of roaming too far away she stays fairly close without crowding us.  So, when it’s time to go inside, she follows right behind us.  And, when we have to leave the house, she stays right next to Callie to keep an eye on her.  It’s really sweet how she has taken on the guardian role. 

 

And Ducky?  How did she handle the change in Callie’s appearance/energy?  I was very proud of her last night!  She was very respectful of Callie…she sniffed her all over to figure out what was going on.  And she sniffed again.  But then I guess the touch of Ducky’s breath, and maybe her nose as well, on Callie’s bare skin made Callie shiver and twitch a little a few times.  So I told Ducky to leave Callie be for a while and she actually listened to me.  For the rest of the night, Ducky left both Callie AND Shadow alone.  She played with her Kong toy and her Nylabones, and played a little tug-of-war with me, and took naps on the couch.  No growling at Shadow when Shadow chewed on a bone, or picked up a ball, or came to one of us humans for attention.  I was a very happy “Rescue Dog Mom” last night!  Maybe she really is starting to “grow up”.  I’ll reserve that judgment for a while longer though.

 

There’s really not anything else to follow up on this week, so I’ll sign off for now and go give Callie and Shadow some lovin’…..

Prayer & Healing Energy Request

Hello my Friends. Today I ask you to remember a dear friend of mine in your prayers &/or meditations. This friend has been struggling with family issues of late; and while I know she will find a way to “accept and move on”, I also know that anonymous prayers from others do help in ways we as mortals cannot understand.

Thank you all.