Our Life Without Callie, Week One

First of all, I promise I’m not going to bore you to death with weekly updates on how hubby, Shadow, Ducky, and I are coping with our loss of Callie’s physical presence in our lives. In fact, I hope to keep this a relatively short post.

Secondly, I want to thank everyone – family and friends – for all the prayers, kind thoughts left in the comments of my blog posts and Facebook posts as well as emails and sympathy cards. They are all very much appreciated, more than words could ever express. And special thanks as well to our wonderful vet, Dr. Steve Colquhoun, his lovely wife, and the entire staff at Sunrise Animal Hospital who have been there every step of the way for us, taking care of our sweet girl. I could never sing their praises loud or long enough!

Sam — aka Hubby — has been my rock this past week. When I’ve needed a hug, or a shoulder to cry on, he has been there. When I haven’t felt like cooking, he has taken over the kitchen or agreed to go out to eat. And when I needed a break from reality, he has taken Shadow and Ducky out in the backyard for me. I know he misses our sweet Callie, but he has held back his own tears to help me.

Ducky misses Callie. She looks for her at various times during the day, but goes right back to playing or whatever when her buddy doesn’t materialize. I miss laughing at Ducky’s attempts to hump Callie’s midsection while she’s asleep.

My poor Shadow seems so lost at times. She looks for Callie almost constantly, and I swear I can hear her sigh dejectedly when her older sister doesn’t appear nearby. She has been napping in all of Callie’s favorite spots. I guess it gives her some comfort to be able to pick up Callie’s scent around the house. She still doesn’t want to eat at times. I literally have to spoon feed her at times to get her started, and at times to get her to finish as well. It may be spoiling her, but my major concern right now is getting her to eat enough food to keep from starving herself. I’ve added doggy vitamins to her diet for now to supplement the vitamins in the food. And I’ve been giving her extra love and attention to lift her spirits as well as my own.

Finally, there’s yours truly. Most of the past week I’ve been nearly as inconsolable as Shadow, dissolving into a puddle of tears at every thought or mention of Callie. It wasn’t until late Saturday evening that I could finally talk or write about her without needing the whole box of tissues. I still have my choked-up, tearful moments, but I can “recover” faster. Especially when Ducky picks up on my sadness and runs over to give me a face full of puppy kisses.


14 thoughts on “Our Life Without Callie, Week One

  1. MyBrownNewfies says:

    Don’t ever think you are boring any of us while you grieve. You should write as much or as little as you want about your feelings.

    Hubby’s are great aren’t they? My husband is always my rock.

  2. somethingwagging says:

    I second Jen. We always love hearing from you about anything you want to share. You’ve always listened to us.

    In truth, Shadow and Ducky are responding exactly as I’d expect. Hopefully Shadow will respond to your hand feedings. And Ducky probably has an endless supply of puppy kisses just for you.

  3. Jodi says:

    Listen to the two wise ones who wrote before me. Grieving is very personal and you need to do what you need to do to get through the process. We are here for the hard things as well as the happy. Take the time you need.

  4. All Things Collie says:

    I’m so sorry, losing a dog is like losing a child. (I know some will disagree with me, but it’s true for many of us.). The depth of love they inspire is amazing, but also means they leave a hole in our hearts when they are gone. Only time will help, until then, hug Ducky and Shadow close.

  5. Jan K says:

    I agree with everyone else, if writing about Callie is therapeutic for you then keep doing it. We are here to share in your sad times as well as happy and most of us have been there and totally understand.

  6. Patricia says:

    I understand the longing and the heartache. Expressing your grief in person, through writing, and online, will help you relieve some stress, and receive support you need. There may be nothing I can say or do to make things better for you. Even if you can’t walk in your neighborhood, you can make a special trip to the park to walk or get Shadow on the treadmill, to help her move forward It’s just important that you keep moving, even amidst the tears. Otherwise I’m afraid you will get stuck in the sadness at home, you know. Forgive me if I am suggesting something impossible now. I have a “virtual shoulder” for you to cry on. –Patricia

    • My Golden Life says:

      Week Two is easier, so far. Writing/posting about Week One was a big help. Ducky spent today at daycare and Shadow and I played together. Aside from a relatively quick trip to DMV, I spent the entire afternoon playing with Shadow. It was wonderful to see that floofy Golden tail swishing and wagging back and forth again! Too hot still to go to the park for a walk; but we will be using the treadmill tomorrow. No forgiveness required. We will be okay. It just takes time.

  7. Maggie says:

    Oh, gosh. Sue, my heart and thoughts are right there with you. Please don’t ever apologize. These things take time, and sometimes writing helps. Sometimes it doesn’t. Whatever is best for YOU, we’ll be here. Sending you lots of warm wishes, hugs, and prayers. And butt scritches for your sweet pups, of course!

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