Before I go too far into my thoughts here, let me thank all of you for your positive “vibes”, prayers, and support as hubby and I await the pathology report and probable diagnosis of Callie’s enlarged lymph nodes. We appreciate it so much more than we could ever put into words.
Now, on to the title of this post.
I have often wondered if my Mom sent Callie to us so that she could make her own presence known to me through my dog. Mom always said she was going to come back as a pampered poodle. Well, she didn’t get the breed right, but all my dogs have always been pampered with love if not material riches. My mom was her parents’ first-born child. She was strong-willed, independent, loving, patient, and protective of those she loved.
Callie was the first born puppy of her litter. She is strong-willed, independent, loving, patient, and protective of those she loves. Now do you see the connection?
When Mom first found the lump on her breast in 1976, she was scared but she was also determined to do whatever she had to do to go on living the life she loved. After a needle biopsy at our family doctor’s office pointed toward probable malignancy, she had the doctor schedule her for an oncological consultation immediately. Two weeks later, she had the mastectomy and so began her three-and-a-half-year battle for her life. She kept her attitude upbeat and positive, even throughout the chemotherapy treatments that left her nauseated and only she knew what else.
So, if Mom truly does “possess” Callie at times, what would she want me to do for Callie? It’s clear to me, so I’ll spell it out for everyone else.
First and foremost, Mom would want me to remain calm, upbeat, and positive. I already decided yesterday morning that regardless of the outcome of the pathology report, I am going to do everything in my power to make sure that whatever time Callie has left in this world will be HAPPY and full of UNCONDITIONAL love. My dog — and her sisters — will not leave this world doubting my love for her.
Second, if it is lymphoma, I will allow the vet to treat Callie with chemotherapy to medically fight the cancer. But only for as long as her quality of life is maintained.
If her quality of life begins to disintegrate, we will have to re-evaluate the situation and possibly make the decision to let her go. Hopefully that decision is still at least a year away.
And, last but not least, any other decisions that need to be made will be wholly and unequivocally made in CALLIE’s best interests. Not mine. Not hubby’s. Not even Shadow’s or Ducky’s. This is Callie’s life, not ours.